March 09, 2020 - 1 Comments




It’s all about gifts and favors nowadays, when it comes to dating the Big Question is Do you have the right to take back the gifts when things don’t go as planned? It’s a tricky situation which cuts across both sides. From the lady’s point of view, one is not entitled to get any special treatment after buying her gifts and taking her out on expensive dates after all it’s not like she asked for them. Men on the other hand, have a different perspective on this. To them a relationship is like an investment and it’s expected to produce returns. These two perspectives are intriguing and I wouldn’t like to totally disqualify any of them, I’ll only support both of them with some logic to a certain extent.

So Jemo had been chasing this chic from his class for the longest time. My guy just wanted to get this girl’s attention, so he had to step up and impress her. It all started with a complement, she smiled and said thanks and that’s how the conversation took off, home boy got those digits. After some time Jemo started taking her out on movie dates, dinners and weekend parties. He could swear he loved her, he just wasn’t sure if the feeling was mutual. Last Valentine’s, he went out of his way and bought a pair of high end stilettos she had posted on her status a while back with a heart emoji as the caption and a smart phone. He called her up and they met at the school’s tennis court where he had planned to surprise her with the gifts and pop the question. She was thrilled with the gifts, especially the shoes but got surprised when he proposed to have her as his girlfriend. Silence rented the air for a while before she said “I am sorry Jemo, I just don’t feel the same way.” In anger, he snatched the gifts from her and walked away.


This is just one of the numerous scenarios where a guy decides to take back everything he had given to a lady if he doesn’t have his way. Well I, for a fact believe it’s really embarrassing to do this as it takes away your gangster points, lol! A dude should walk away when they get a NO like a real OG, on to the next one, after all, the grass is always greener on the other side. All this drama of taking back things you gave to her is just petty and pretty much embarrassing. It only goes to show that you had the wrong intentions when you gave her the gifts, wanting something back in return counts as a bribe and not a gift.


Ladies, I am not letting you off the hook easily. Why should you waste a brother’s time and resources when you are not interested in him? Boy child anakula githeri ndio akushikie pizza, then after his wallet is dry ndio unamshow he’s not your type.  Lightning go strike you oh! If a guy isn’t your type cut him off/snob him but let him know you aren’t interested. If he is persistent and chooses to stick around after you’ve told him that you are taken or simply not interested, then that’s on him. Leading someone on so that you can keep enjoying the things that comes with him is simply wrong. Ukimkataa, kataa ady gifts!



We all pursue things with the hope of succeeding in the end, relationships are no different. The challenge comes in when things don’t turn out as expected, anger and frustrations might lead someone to do things that at the moment feel right but are not. While pursuing a new love interest one should be open minded, unaingia hapo ukijuwa it’s a risk you are taking and nothing is guaranteed. If it works well and good, if it doesn’t, such is life, We win some, We lose some. Let it Go! Guys wacheni pressure zah putting up an image you cannot maintain. If she isn’t impressed by who you really are then she’s probably not the one for you.


  • Freddie March 9, 2020 at 1:33 pm

    It’s simple, kama hauko interested in someone let them know from day one! Be honest, be real. Alafu maguys stop spending on girls expecting her heart in return. I feel like sometimes we don’t give these girls time to decide if it’s you they really want, we expect them to make the decision fast. Mpee time but si sana.. And It’s ok to invest in the relationship but also be wise.


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